So here it is the finale, THE END ! My bangers have well and truly been smashed ! Nork & Nindy can finish the tale....no ghost writer ;) just me their 'skeleton' writer ! .....
Oooh, oooh we feel woozy!!! Slowly and tentatively us two boobies begin to
wake again... Mamma PB said we'd only be asleep for a little while but it feels
like we've been gone for hours or maybe even days! I’m awake but I can't move or
flop, jiggle or even feel my nipple! So slowly and tentatively I glance over at
boob 2 who is whimpering quietly and mumbling something about being trussed up
like a Christmas turkey (oh and just so you know, she's called Nork and I’m named Nindy and we were
christened by our new GodMamma Nork
@Mandajjennings)!
At first glance I
literally don't recognise Nork who looks so very, very different from
when I saw her last! She’s bruised, battered and covered in bandages, but oh my...
she is now so plump, pert, perky, proud and any other 'P' words I can think of! I
begin to quiver in anticipated excitement and take a glance at myself! I’m everything that Nork is ....and more
(well I've always been the better looking boobie with a more symmetrical shape
and magnetic personality!) So I smile to myself, us boobies are gonna be truly
fabulous and I can't wait for Mamma PB to cop a feel!
It’s at this point I have my epiphany moment! We have well and
truly been re-born...praise be to the Lord, well the surgeon to be precise and
our old life before (when we were good, kind and hard working boobies)
has paid dividends. From now on we will go forth as truly boobtastic' boobs,
restored to our former glory and holding our heads high (unaided) in fact we
simply can't wait to begin our next chapter!
So back on the ward, as threatened Mamma has been moved from the private
room to a ward, I mean a ward with other boobs, what an outrage! Poor Mamma is
so sleepy, dizzy and feeling sickly, to the point where even Mr PB has given up
trying to make conversation and decided to let us all doze. Us boobies though,
so very tired and sore are still ever so desperate for Pappa PB to sneak a
peek at the new us! (And by the twinkle in his eye we can tell
he is too) however sadly he has to refrain from a 'groping' session until another time, seeing
as Mamma is now unconscious again!
As Mamma settles down to rest and recover over the next 24 hrs, Nork
and I also take the chance to chill, all happy and snugly and up close and
personal now to Mamma's..... chin! We know we are gonna be loved and
cherished even more than before. In fact we’re sure that soon we’ll be adorned with
all the latest skimpy, delicate, non-industrial bras and spaghetti strap vest
tops she can find....yeehar!! As we rest, it’s true we are both incredibly
giddy with thoughts of this new life and so begin planning how to realise our
re-birth dreams....
Now I’ve decided that we both need a goal to aim for, you know something to
focus on during our recovery. Mamma PB always says it helps with motivation and
I think she's right. After much morphine induced consideration, I have
decided that I'd like to sky dive, bungee jump and run a half marathon....all
without the constraints of 3 industrial size and strength support sports bras!
I want to feel the thrill of adrenalin rush through my bouncy young breast
and rouse my nipple..... well just ever so slightly ! To feel the fresh
air wafting through my 'medium' impact shock absorber running bra and to enjoy
my new view from the now elevated position as Mamma runs through the
countryside, all springy and light and un-elephant like! Nork on the other
hand has decided that she is just glad to no longer be hanging down like a
spaniel’s ear around mamma knees and having to put up with the ever so slightly
manky belly button fluff, you know the sort which seems to occasionally attach itself
to her (for the avoidance of doubt, Mamma is not in the least bit manky, but hey come on we've all found the odd occasional bit of fluff,
hair, piece of hubba bubba or small vole nesting inside.....haven't we)?
So the next two days pass in a haze of prodding, poking, bp and temperature
checks, nurses, doctors and every other interruption that a hospital stay
includes. It seriously isn't an atmosphere conducive to a peaceful recovery!
But Nork and I are feeling much better and in the patient toilet we finally
have the 'big reveal' to Mr PB, Miss C and Little Miss H! Ok so I realise that
it’s not the most glamorous of venues for such a long awaited exhibition, but
even without the red carpet, paparazzi and a spattering of Z list celebs, it is
a positively marvellous moment none the less! Mamma gasps, no word of a
lie and Mr PB smiles whilst trying to suppress a giggle, somewhat like
that of a naughty school boy caught looking at page 3! Miss C
and Little Miss H stare opened mouthed at the sheer
transformation of us boobies, we look truly radiant and Miss C points
out we look like 'implants' but in a good way and natural! So for a
while, Nork and I are caressed (albeit very gently) and admired by all the
PB's so with pleasure cursing through us and self-love having been restored, we
know even with the long recovery in front of us, this journey will be the
best and most rewarding we've ever taken. Funnily enough, they all notice
that Mamma's tan lines from last summer’s swimming costume have now moved and
are instead up around her neck! At this she heads immediately for her makeup
bag to dig out the foundation and slaps it all over in an
attempt to even out her skin tone!
Later on during the day after our 'reveal' Mamma is visited by the hospital
physiotherapist, who just so happens to be a fit, 20 yr something young
man! Do Nork and I really need to be told how to do our breast exercises by
this hunky vision in a white coat.......hell YES, course we do! So sticking our
perfect newly formed mounds forward, we put on our best show and say 'Hello
Boys'! Now Mamma PB is of an age where she no longer has any self dignity concerning
medical matters left (giving birth kind of stripped her of that) so us
performing for Dave (said Physio) is a walk in the park for us all. Dave
however seems a little out of his comfort zone and doesn't look either Nork or
I in the eye! Poor Dave I'm sure he'd much rather be going through recovery
exercises for a premiership footballer, rather than 'how to look after your
breasts following reduction surgery' with our 40yr old Mamma!
So armed with lots of information, us boobies take a delicate stroll around
the ward, pretending to do our therapy exercises but in reality with
only a spying mission on our minds! You see from Mamma's bed, she has quickly noticed
another new pair of twins who are just back from surgery themselves! Seeing this, all of a
sudden Nork is beginning to feel all 'competitive' Now this is something that neither of
us has ever felt before! Hmmm, there are 'new boobs on the block’! What do the they
look like? Could they be more perfect than us? As Mamma is nosey by nature so
we're bound to be curious and off we stroll over to the 'new boobs bed' ....
From our experience and knowing that the owner of the new boobs is two days
behind us in recovery time, I'm confident we can swoop by her bed, take a
long hard look at her breasts (all with a healthy interest in research,
obviously and in no way in a stalker-ish manner!) then simply glide away,
gently bouncing as Mamma walks. Anyway, on the slim chance this lady stirs to
find Mamma, Nork and I, leering at her 'twins' with a concentrated (probably
lunatic) expression on our faces, Mamma will calmly tell her she's
just having a morphine induced hallucination ! It's plausible and in fact happened
to Mamma!
Now as it happens, when this lady awakes, the reality is that she really
is very sweet and soon Mamma and her get chatting. Needless to say
that within minutes of us meeting, Nork and I are being exhibited to her
new 'twins' who in fairness are also looking awesome! As Mamma chats, there
is much mutual appreciation, admiring and ok maybe just a little bit of boob on
boob action....NO not that (minds out of gutters readers)! Just some simple squeezing,
stroking and comparing ;-) ! Competitive as ever, it’s fair to say I rise
to the challenge, after all I’m always eager to show off and even ask if they
want me to perform a recital....did I mention I am an accomplished musician. But
Mamma decides that enough is enough and so she reins me in and retreats to her
bed, 'I think we all need a little nap ' she announces!
And so with thoughts of our brand new life, one which will hopefully be
filled with new experiences and challenges and with thoughts of
our hope and dreams filling our heads, we leave hospital. Mamma PB walks (albeit
very gingerly) with her head and shoulders up high and her
back straight and we all feel lighter, reawakened and restored! We
are now entering a brand 'new world' and I don't think we shall ever
look back !
The
End!
This post is dedicated to the following Twitter pals who never failed to
cheer me up, make me smile and who cared enough to ask how I was doing. Thank
you all with lots of love xxxx
@MandaJJennings @The_Last_Slayer @smilechickie @oohloobylou @mishcousin @animagic21 @NotSoSlummy
@missingsleep @lovelyleosmummy @TheFoolTweets @Mrs_Rev @poppyredifa
@citygirlnomore @alittlemisfit @lagosMum,@MistySrsly,@cheetahinshoes,@farfromhomemama,@MinistryOfMum,@ChrisBucklin and @JudeyWudey
