Friday, 25 November 2011

Ding Dong Doris on High!

Many of my friends think I’m crazy for putting up my Christmas tree in November, but it is without doubt my most favourite time of the year. The twinkle of the fairy lights, sparkly decorations and the smell from the mulled wine scented candles fills my house. In doing so it gives me a feeling of warmth and cosiness that no other time of the year can match.

So why dear god am I stressed beyond belief and ready to dismantle the tree and rip down the lights before it’s even been up a week?


One word…. Doris! She is our super cute kitty, all soft and squishy. She’s a picture purrfect cat and looks just like Felix from the advert. However beneath the adorable face with elegant, elongated whiskers and the soft angelic mewing sound she makes (when she wants something), lies a most fearsome creature not nearly as far removed from her lion ancestors as we first thought.

Usually I can handle the random unprovoked attacks that come from under the bed, where my ankles bear the brunt of her pointy little claws and sharp catty teeth. Or the way she leaps from the top of the fridge like ninja cat and lands on the worktop with a delicate thud and a conceited look on her face; as I jump and squeal in shock. But now I think she’s pushed it one step too far!

My beautiful Christmas tree that illuminates my front room, shining with festive cheer and representing all my families hopes, dreams and excitement for the impending ‘big day’. My tree in all its loveliness, has become a one gigantic cat toy for Doris. She likes to climb inside and settle down to systematically chew her way through the branches, paw the dangling decorations and unravel the lights! 

My husband says that she should be outside terrorising the local rodent population instead, but Doris has always been a fair weather cat and it seems the thought of going out in the cold, anymore than necessary, obviously hasn’t crossed her mind. So there she sits inside the tree, with the persistence of an environmentalist protesting, in fact she's more than likely chanting to herself ‘ What do I want? I want the tree, When do I want it? Meow!’. 

Whilst my daughter and I take it in turns to try and shoo her out, taking care not to become attached to her teeth or to cause yet even more damage to my precious tree. In fact I’ve lost count of the number of times this week that I’ve been squashed behind and under the tree or bent over in impossible positions, with branches scraping my face and trying to cajole her out! Doris doesn’t budge ever and suddenly from this sweet little fluff ball, comes the most vicious growling and hissing you can imagine! Seems she’s determined to ‘fight’ for her right to claim the tree as her own and well, I suppose, I should value her canine conviction! However my stress levels have been rising rapidly over the last five days and I’m now snapping repeatedly at my daughter as her constant screaming at Doris, is frankly, doing my head in!

Doris like most cats, is a law unto herself! She does what she wants, when she wants and asks no permission or seeks any approval from anyone or anything. Cats are not ‘mans best friend’ like dogs. You can never really own, understand, depend on, trust or bond with a cat. They don’t give themselves fully to you like a dog. That’s why we don’t have Guide cats for the blind, Guard Cats, Police Cats or Hearing Cats for the Deaf! I mean can you imagine? Cats don’t listen to you or care too much about what you say. Yet I love the very bones of Doris, and i do still hold out for those quite moments when it’s just the two of us with her purr rumbling loudly as she lets me cuddle her.

So Doris can have the tree (up to a point) but I am prepared to do battle with her over it, I am determined to conquer her and to keep my sanity and also my beautiful tree safe this year! You know, Doris has no idea, but I now have my water pistol close to hand, just in case she becomes a little too focussed on the destruction! Still, Christmas is after all a family time and Doris is (even if she doesn’t know it) still part of our family !!


  1. Haha love it Bryony! Cheeky little Dorris.... I can just imagine her chanting from inside the tree!!! Hehe :-) xxx

  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! <- that's just me being bah humbug! I don't 'do' Christmas until at least 14th December.

    Each to their own though and it has to be said that Doris looks like she's loving the tree!

    Nice to find you !

  3. Heehee! Your tree looks lovely! I'm a Christmas fan too and our tree went up on 25th November this year ;) I couldn't wait any longer and the kids and I had a lovely day puting the decorations on and watching Christma films together. And if Dorris loves it! Gotta be done ;)

  4. Ha ha, Doris sounds great! Makes me miss my cats, they used to eat all the pine needles then vomit up little christmassy piles of sick all through the festive season. Ah, love cats, they're mental.

  5. Yeah cats hey Bluebirdsunshine ! Can't beat them, laughing at the image of your Christmassy sick ! x

  6. Thank you loveinthenest....another Christmas fan, yipee !!! It is a fab time isn't it..... we have Elf on a loop in our house ! x

  7. loving it...
    I only got a real tree under protest...."Muuuummm it dont feel like xmas without one.." from 13year old son..
    went and picked up bottled gas... n the suppliers yard was full of trees :(
    he is now responsible for picking the bits out of the carpet...

  8. Ooh I love Elf! Watched it with the hubby the other night, will watch it again soon. My favourite film is Santa Claus the Movie!